NARCISSISM: EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW

1. Exaggerated (Grandiose) sense of self-importance

Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance, it is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people. They are too good
for anything average or ordinary. They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things.

2. Delusions of grandeur:

They are preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate. Anything that threatens to burst the fantasy bubble is met with extreme defensiveness and even rage.

3. Needs constant praise and admiration:

The occasional compliment is not enough. Narcissists need constant food for their ego, so they surround themselves with people who are willing to cater to their obsessive craving for affirmation.

4. Superiority over others:

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements. Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people. Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations.

5. Sense of entitlement:

Narcissists expect favorable treatment. They expect the people around them to automatically comply with their every wish and whim. Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration.

6. Exploits others without guilt or shame:

Narcissists never develop the ability to identify with the feelings of others. They lack empathy. Narcissists simply don’t think about how their behavior affects others. They view the people in their lives as objects—there to serve their needs.

7. Monopolize conversations, Frequently demean, bully, or belittle others.

Narcissists feel threatened whenever they encounter someone who appears to have something they lack i.e confidence and popularity. Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful, and pretentious. The only way to neutralize the threat and prop up their own sagging ego is to put those people down.

8. Be envious of others and believe others envy them.

9. Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the
best car or office.

WHEN RECEIVING CRITICISM :

● Become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special treatment
● Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted
● React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior
● Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior
● Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change
● Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection
● Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability, and humiliation

KEEPING UP WITH THE NARCISSIST

Narcissists can be very magnetic and charming. They are very good at creating the fantastical, flattering self-image that draws us in. It’s easy to get caught up in their web, thinking that they will fulfill our longing to feel more important, more alive. But it’s just a fantasy and a costly one at that.

• Treatment of others by a narcissist: If the narcissist lies, manipulates, hurts, and disrespects others, he or she will eventually treat you the same way
• Your needs won’t be recognized: Your desires and feelings won’t be heard, they look for mere puppets to provide boosting supply to their ego.
• Focus on your own dreams: Instead of losing yourself in the narcissist’s delusions, focus on the things you want for yourself

CAN NARCISSISTS REALLY CHANGE?

“The greatest barrier to a narcissist’s success tends to be their
own narcissism.”
Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder can be challenging because people with this condition present with a great deal of grandiosity and defensiveness, which makes it difficult for them to acknowledge problems and vulnerabilities. People with NPD do not like hearing anything negative about themselves–especially not that they are narcissistic which is likely to be met with further denial, delusions, or even rage.
Narcissists have to be motivated to change, and many aren’t simply because they can’t see that they have a problem or they just don’t care. Sometimes, it isn’t until they experience a major personal crisis such as a failure at work, the loss of an important relationship, or another deeply humbling experience that they feel compelled to seek help. Even if a narcissist makes it into therapy, though, it can be a herculean task to keep them committed to the hard work that real and lasting change requires, as many would rather quit than kill their ego.

WHAT WORKS ???

Individual and group psychotherapy may be useful in helping people with narcissistic personality disorder relates to others in a healthier and more compassionate way. Mentalization-based therapy, transference-focused psychotherapy, and schema-focused psychotherapy have all been suggested as effective ways of treating narcissistic personality disorder.

TYPES OF NARCISSISTS :

In 1996, Theodore Millon identified and defined five different types of narcissistic behavior. An individual with a narcissistic personality disorder may display zero, one, or multiple of the following behavior types:
● Unprincipled narcissist: People who exhibit antisocial tendencies and act fraudulently, often exploiting or deceiving others in order to raise their own relative standing.
● Amorous narcissist: This involves attention-seeking behaviors, often romantic or relational in nature. Amorous narcissism is characterized by a desire to gain affection for affection’s sake, not to satisfy a more personal human need or connection.
● Compensatory narcissist: Defined as a narcissist who displays passive-aggressive and avoidant tendencies, which are ultimately acting out of a desire to alter one’s own social standing to others or to self.
● Elitist narcissist: This is closest to the pure definition of a narcissist, wherein the affected individual believes themself superior to all others and acts in ways that indicate they are convicted of their own elevated social standing, even if it is pure delusion.

DOES NPD AFFECT HEALTH?

A narcissist might be more inclined to exercise, but the overconfidence perceived invulnerability, and strong desire for rewards have been linked to riskier financial decisions and substance use, and all this can negatively affect interpersonal relationships and life at work… “Narcissistic men may be paying a high price in terms of their physical health, in addition to the psychological cost to their relationships.”Chronic high levels of cortisol, which has been linked to
● Higher risk of depression
● Heart disease
● Memory impairment

WHAT IF YOU LEAVE THE NARCISSIST ??

Leaving a narcissist can be a huge blow to their sense of entitlement and self-importance. Their huge ego still needs to be fed, so they’ll often continue trying to exert control over you. If charm and “love bombing” doesn’t work, they may resort to threats, denigrating you to mutual friends and acquaintances, or stalking you, on social media or in-person