The most dreadful experience or emotion a person is afraid of is “REJECTION”. A person might even not give things a try because he/she feels that they might get rejected and don’t want to undergo that process all again or never want to experience it. Of all rejections, people get drained most by LOVE REJECTION.
According to experiments i.e. fMRI studies show that the same areas of the brain get activated when you face some physical pain and a Rejection in your life. This becomes a very crucial area to study because at first when you get into relationships you start feeling good because of the release of the happy hormones like phenethylamine, cortisol, dopamine, and oxytocin. Everything around you feels magical and incredible. However, for some reason, if it doesn’t work out i.e. Breakup it brings with it the chemicals of stress i.e. cortisol and epinephrine.
Now, there are two kinds of people:
- Who tend to fall in love with the person that loves them more
- Who tend to fall in love with those who aren’t as passionate about them as they are.
This leads to the person taking his/her partner for-granted in the first situation and getting very closely involved or dependent on the other in the second. Both these situations, hence lead to LOVE REJECTION. And a person, here, looses more than one can ever imagine- confidence, self-esteem, trust, love, the amazing feeling of getting attention and so much more.
Causes of rejection in a relationship:
- An unprepared partner: Sometimes when you get rejected by your perfect match, it hurts bad. However, your partner might not be ready for an emotional commitment or even continue a relationship at this point in life which eventually leads to love rejection. And it’s completely fine because this behavior is not as evil as it seems to you but in reality, is human. They don’t want to hurt you and place their feelings very clearly in Infront of you.
- An unprepared “ME”: As much as it hurts, keep in mind that you might get rejected also for a reason that the other person knows that you are not ready for a relationship because of a clearly visible emotional baggage. In this case, you need self-introspection.
- Faking yourself: I know it’s a very harsh tone but people need to realize that in a relationship you bond with your companion at different levels of emotional variety and need to be who you truly are. Emotional variety even helps to keep your relationship fresh and new.
- Only Intimacy: If your main goal is only physical pleasure then, there is no question of any expectations. If you can take a genuine interest in your partner and try and list the inner aspects you love about your beloved.
Consequences of Rejection:
- Insomnia
- Appetite loss or binge eating
- Indulging in things that are against your ethical values.
- Getting into a new relationship with an emotional suitcase to satisfy your ego gives another reason of LOVE REJECTION for you to face.
- Obsessive thoughts about the beloved ex-partner.
The Stages of Rejection:
- Protest
In this stage, people try to reconnect with their exes and win them back. Both the sexes approach this stage differently. Women try to seduce the partner and try talking their hearts out to their beloved. Men, on the other hand, try and buy expensive gifts to their lost loves. Both, however, make each other jealous by showing up with others.
2. Resignation
In this stage they realise that their lovers are gone forever and push themselves into disgust and despair. They start suffering from what academics call anhedonia i.e. they lose to fine pleasure in anything which is a common symptom of depression.
We need to understand the fact that rejection plays a triggering role in almost every aspect of our life especially if it’s a dejection from a loved one. It leads to Depression, Anxiety, Stress, Eating Disorders, embarrassment, loneliness, guilt, shame, and whatnot. Hence dealing with it becomes very important and not repressing it down into your mind because very soon it starts harming your cognitive as well as physical abilities. Don’t run away from it because the last thing you would want to do is to build an escape route and getting yourself damaged.
Strategies to cope with LOVE REJECTION:
- Talk to yourself
Make yourself feel better by accepting rejection and moving on. That’s the best solution. Don’t brood over things. It’s your life and you would not want to waste it by thinking about what went wrong. In fact, these experiences teach you a lot and experiments have proved that the people who have faced rejection in love have gone on to make the right decisions in the future. So, thank you for the experience because you learned something.
2. Indulge in New things
Expose yourself to new things and also the things that make you feel good and forget about the pain of the past. It will keep you busy and focused.
3. Exercise
This is such an important component of your life. You will eventually realize that exercise is the best form of medicine. You can also go to “hot yoga”. It does wonders and gives you relaxation.
4. Write your thoughts down
If you feel the pain write it down because it is the best way of venting. Writing your thoughts will give you a way to place your problems into some kind of a platter and you will feel lighter.
5. Meet new people
Try to meet new people because it will not only widen your horizons but will also give you the motive to pull yourself up again from LOVE REJECTION
6. Counselling
If the pain persists and you are unable to get yourself out, it’s okay to call for help. You are not weak instead you’re strong enough to try to come out of these emotions. Get an appointment and sit down with a therapist and let yourself out.
All in all, Rejection is just a phase in your life and when dealt with it carefully without emotionally hurting yourself it’s fine. It’s fine to cry out loud, to binge on to chocolates, to dedicate some days to yourself for healing. I say “IT’S FINE”. Life will be a new beginning for you from now.
References:
https://thriveglobal.com/stories/4-reasons-why-rejection-occurs-in-a-relationship/
https://www.bustle.com/p/9-surprising-changes-that-occur-in-the-body-when-you-get-rejected-17998006
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