GREAT IMPORTANCE OF COUNSELING in 2020

“You go to a counsellor? What mental disorder do you have?”

“What? I and counselling? People will think I am mental!”

“Please, I am not that weak that I would seek a counselor”

“If I can’t solve my own problems, how will a stranger solve them?”

In India, it is not uncommon to hear these sentences while talking about visiting a counselor or a mental health professional. These myths have been ingrained in our society so deeply that anyone ‘seeking help’ is judged or demeaned. A great deal of stigma is attached to this field of counseling, especially in India. 

• The World Health Organization (WHO) reported that 7.5 % of people in India suffer from mental illness but 70% of them do not receive the necessary treatment.
• One of the main causes for such high treatment gap in India is stigma attached to ‘seeking help’. 
• A survey conducted in five metropolitan cities of India found that people had very high levels of stigma towards mental illness (Boge et al., 2018). 

However, it is high-time that we fight against this stigma and make ‘counseling’ a non-judgmental, healthy and safe place for everyone. 

And, the first step towards that goal is educating oneself and others about mental health, about importance of counseling, taking efforts to break down the myths prevailing in our society, talking about mental awareness without being ashamed of it and understanding the importance of asking for help or going to a counselor. 

Understanding the Process of Counseling

Counseling can be defined ‘a professional relationship that empowers diverse individuals, families, and groups to accomplish mental health, wellness, education, and career goals.’ It does not only focus on client’s goals but also help them to achieve those goals. Counseling is a dynamic, engaging and a lively process involving making choices as well as changes. Counseling can be conducted in an individual setting, in groups and in families. The focus is not on extremely severe mental health disorders. 

Under the broad area of counseling come specialities dealing with educational settings like schools or colleges, and those concerning situations in life such as marriage, mental health, rehabilitation, aging, addiction, and careers. 

Hence, counselors can help people of all ages, through a myriad of life situations and assist them to focus on what really matters, alleviate distress, improve well-being and resolve the crisis.

Let us first break some myths that are deeply-rooted in our society regarding counseling.

Myth-Busting

MYTH: You can seek counseling only if you have a mental disorder.

FACT: As noted above, counseling deals with and focuses on – 

• Wellness and Personal growth, 
• Career and Education. 
• Empowerment and work concerns, 
• Interpersonal problems (difficulties in relationships, marriage, family, etc.),
• Coping with stress and trauma,
• Identity difficulties and development,
• Mental illness or physical health concern,
• Finding meaning/purpose in life,
• Adjustment issues,
• Social justice and advocacy for the oppressed,
• Educating and bringing awareness in people regarding mental health i.e. psycho-education, and 
• Impact of environment like culture and gender shaping people’s experience and concerns.

Hence, you do not have to have a mental health disorder to seek help.

MYTH: If I go to a counselor, other people will assume that something is wrong with me.

FACT: Seeking help and going to a counsellor shows that you are willing to learn more about yourself and improve your life. And this is an achievement in itself because it takes strength to overcome the stigma and proactively look after yourself. Like the quote in the picture above, it might be difficult to look beyond what other people think but beyond that is where beautiful journeys and destinations lie. Plus, once you are at the counsellor’s clinic, confidentiality and privacy are the utmost priorities.

MYTH: Seeking help is a sign of weakness

FACT: Is looking after yourself, trying to manage your problems ever a sign of weakness? Then, how is seeking help from a professional to do the exact same thing, a sign of weakness? A counselor would not be solving your problems for you; counseling will unwrap the strength you have within you that shall help you solve your own problems. Counseling is in fact a source of strength and a catalyst promoting well-being.

MYTH: If I cannot solve my problems, a stranger will never be able to solve them. 

FACT: Remember how being in an actual maze and finding the way out is so much more difficult than solving a maze on a paper or a book? That is because when you are in an actual maze, you cannot see the entire challenge to find a way out. But while solving it on a paper, you can trace each road and see if they are leading the desired destination. 

Same is with counseling, when you are in a difficult time, your mind might occupy itself with only a part of the problem. It may miss out on details and resources that are crucial in helping you solve them. But when a professional looks at your situation, he/she will see it from a bird-view and know exactly what will help you in handling that challenge. Plus, counseling has shown to work efficaciously for all kinds of problem time and again. Counselors have experience and skills that will help you excel in specific areas of life.

MYTH: Counseling is a shortcut for handling any difficulty.

FACT: Counseling is not a quick fix or a shortcut to get solutions to all your problems; it may sometimes be difficult to open up about things in the past or to work through challenges. Some emotions might surface and cause trouble. Also, counseling requires honesty; not just with the counselor but also with yourself which might be tough for many. 

When Does Seeking Help Become Necessary? 

Counseling acquaints individuals with skills necessary to deal with a problem, which can be used even after the process of counseling ends. It is like a lifelong learning. But when should one go for counseling?

The answer is simple – whenever any type of mental health concern or emotional concern affects your daily life functioning and causes distress, counseling is recommended. Generally in India, it is seen that people seek counseling as a last resort after they have taken time to see if situation is changing or if they are feeling better just with the support of friends and family. This is a natural tendency but waiting too long before the difficulty gets worse is detrimental. 

There are some guidelines provided by the American Psychological Association regarding when to consider counseling,

• When the situation causes distress and interferes with your work/function.
• When the problem leads to embarrassment or because of which you want to avoid others.
• When the quality of life decreases because of the specific issue.
• When your performance at work, school or in a relationship is negatively affected.
• When there are unexpected, drastic and major changes in your life.
• When you develop harmful habits to run from the situation instead of dealing with it.
• When you feel that you are being controlled by your symptoms, or they are making you cause harm to yourself or others.
• When feelings of overwhelm, fatigue, anger, rage, resentment, anxiety, lost interest, apathy, hopelessness, and withdrawal are experienced in a manner which is out of proportion to the current situation and endured to an extent that they interrupt your routine.

Apart from these, you can seek help for a number of other issues or for your own growth.

Importance of Counseling

Counseling is a space where you can be yourself, share your deepest fears and still feel safe and judgement-free. There are many research-supported benefits of counseling – 

• Catharsis – It is often noted how catharsis i.e. letting out all your pent up emotions, can be helpful. People feel they are relieved of thoughts and feelings that they had bottled-up for a prolonged period and takes the weight off the mind.
• Learning about oneself – The counselor is a facilitator who tries to help you join the dots. You are empowered to take actions on your own and solve your own problems. 
• Fulfilling interpersonal life – Counseling often addresses your social and interpersonal concerns and helps you work through them, for example, your insecurities or fear of confrontation, etc. It indirectly makes your bonds more honest, genuine and stronger.
• Improved self-concept – Counselors also focuses on increasing the client’s self-esteem and self-love. They practice unconditional positive regard i.e. accepting and supporting the client regardless of what they say or do. This nurtures positive regard, confidence and greater self-acceptance in the client. 
• Refined interpersonal communication – One of the fundamental elements in counseling is effective communication. You will learn to communicate more honestly and efficaciously with your significant others.
• Enhanced quality of life – When you learn various skills, deal with problems effectively, have improved relationships with significant others, then you are likely to have increased life satisfaction.

• Emotional self-regulation – The learning taking place in the counseling process is life-long. Managing your emotions, appropriately expressing them, understanding others’ emotions, actively listening, etc. are the by-products of this process.
• Accomplished goals – People often seek help for attaining purpose or meaning in life or learn skills to achieve their desired goals. Counseling can also help improve their problem-solving and decision-making skills. 
• Overall health benefits – It is not unknown that mind and body has a strong link connecting each other. One affects the other and vice versa. If you are emotionally and mental stable and at a good place, you are likely to experience better body wellness and it also alleviates your immunity and fosters recovery.
• Decreased other mental health-related concerns – A huge body of research suggests that counseling is beneficial for reducing depression, anxiety, phobias, and many other mental illnesses.
• Brings different perspective – When you share and express your thoughts and emotions in words, you start seeing your thoughts from a different external perspective which helps you gain a new meaning and look at your problems from a different light.

Hence, counseling can lead to enhancement in all the aspects of life. It can help you work through the challenges you face and aid you in living life you envisioned. 

If you are reluctant about this process, there are many counselors in India who offer a demo session or a phone consultation before starting the actual process of counseling so that you can consider the cost, their credentials and make an informed decision about whether to seek help. 

I would like to conclude this blog with a quote by Rae Smith – “Never be afraid to fall apart because it is an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along.” Counseling provides you that opportunity to rebuild yourself, without letting you fall apart. 

References – 

• Böge, K., Zieger, A., Mungee, A., Tandon, A., Fuchs, L. M., Schomerus, G., … & Hahn, E. (2018). Perceived stigmatization and discrimination of people with mental illness: a survey-based study of the general population in five metropolitan cities in India. Indian journal of psychiatry, 60(1), 24.
• Birla, N. (2019, October 10). Mental health in India: 7.5% of country affected; less than 4,000 experts available. Retrieved May 8, 2020, from here
• Masand, P., & Tnn. (2012, October 10). One in five Indians needs mental health counselling, reveals govt statistics: India News – Times of India. Retrieved May 8, 2020, from https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/One-in-five-Indians-needs-mental-health-counselling-reveals-govt-statistics/articleshow/16747494.cms
• 9 Key Benefits of Counselling and Talking Therapy. (n.d.). Retrieved May 9, 2020, from https://theworsleycentre.com/the-benefits-of-counselling/
• Miller, K. (2020, February 18). 27 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Counseling. Retrieved May 9, 2020, from https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-of-counseling/
• Raypole, C. (2020, February 17). Why Should I Go to Therapy? 8 Signs It’s Time to See a Therapist. Retrieved May 9, 2020, from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/why-should-i-go-to-therapy-8-signs-its-time-to-see-a-therapist-0118197
• Gladding, S. T., & Kishore, R. (2017). Counseling: A comprehensive profession. Pearson Education India.

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